46% of Canadians think people use the term mental illness as an excuse for bad behaviour, and 27% say they would be fearful of being around someone who suffers from serious mental illness.
– Canadian Medical Association (2008). 8th annual National Report Card on Health Care.
Bipolar is often a word used for when people think a person has split personalities or to describe the weather. But to me, it is a much different word. It means a time in my life when I was not well but also a time when I learned so much about myself. This post is meant to enlighten you about what bipolar is and to tell you my experiences over the past few years.
What is Bipolar?
Photo from helpguide.org
Bipolar is a mood disorder that can affect people in many different ways. At times a person can go through an episode of mania, when they are essentially “on top of the world”, or a person can experience severe depression. Many people are unaware that to be diagnosed with bipolar you only need to have one episode of mania (either extreme or hypo) and one depressive episode. There are two types of bipolar, type 1 and type 2, type 1 being on the extremes of mania and depression, type 2 being on the hypomania and depressive side.
When did I get diagnosed?
I realized something was not right with me about three years ago. I have always had an admiration for successful people, but when I saw Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never movie, I was literally on top of the world – for weeks. I had no stress, felt like everything was going to be okay no matter what, and was the happiest I had ever been in my life. This all sounds fine and dandy except that I had no reason to be so happy. I then continued to have one of the biggest depressive episodes of my life where I wondered: “why the hell was I so happy before?”. I had been seeing my doctor regularly for about 1.5 years leading up to this point.
Where am I now?
Currently, I like to think I am “cured” of this disorder and feel I am through a combination of medication and therapy. But sometimes I think to myself, “am I really sick in the first place?”. I also struggle with the opposite thought of: “am I actually better?”. This is because I sometimes have racing thoughts, make rash decisions too quickly, and flip flop from career goals on the weekly – all signs of bipolar creeping through. I am managing these feelings though by reminding myself that it is okay to take time to think about a situation before I commit.
Road to Recovery
The road to recovery is one that will never end. I have issues here and there, but nothing like I used to. I hope by sharing my story it helps people reassess their own lives and encourages them to seek help if needed. I know this is a short blog post about my experiences and there is much more to it – but I think any conversation about mental illness is a good one.
How is your mental health? I encourage you to take time for yourself and make sure you are being the best person you can be!
Carolyn
Carolyn's Lifestyle 